What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I want to touch my sister’s boobs. What do I say?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why have feminists not demanded that females be required to register with the selective service? Are female lives more precious than male lives?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?

Make Nazis afraid again!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What was your biggest culture shock going to Europe?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Can you write a short story with a twist ending?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

TEXT:

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!